In the best case scenario, this dismal excerpt from a novel about President Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his Scottish Terrier, Fala, (Link expired which is probably a good thing) is satire. In the worst case scenario it’s just really bad writing.
I don’t have the wherewithal to figure it out, dear readers, so I leave it up to you:
A half a world away, President Roosevelt took a deep breath and stretched his legs on the south lawn of the White House. Standing next to him was Herbert Hoover, dressed in a long coat and his Stanford scarf. Tucked under his right arm was Roosevelt’s faithful Scottish Terrier Fala.
“Is this really necessary Herbie?” mumbled the President under his breath.
“You know it is Franklin. I don’t want you just fast, I want you quick too. Now get to it,” with that Hoover tossed the startled dog to the ground and Roosevelt began to scamper after him.
“Damn you Hoover, why does everything have to be so hard?” coughed Roosevelt, regretting his morning smoke.
“Because anything worth having is going to be hard Franklin. You Democrats need to learn that. It can’t all be government hand outs,” laughed Hoover.
And so it began. Carefully, hidden from view of the Washington press corps, Hoover trained Roosevelt every day. By May, the Olympics were looming and Roosevelt’s 100 meter time was still only 10.6, a full .3 seconds slower than Jesse Owens. He’d never be able to compete with the Germans at this rate. He couldn’t help, but wonder why winning meant so much to him now. He was brought up to believe that participating in athletic competition was victory. Now, he was training with the single minded determination he didn’t know he had within himself. He knew now, he would do whatever it took to run their socks off.