Category Archives: Life with dogs

Life with dogs be they Scottish Terriers or not.

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Because we could probably all use a laugh today, here’s a doggie lightbulb joke. And though it’s not new, I hadn’t heard it until recently. The answer, it seems, depends on the breed.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a burned-out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that ****ed stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Siberian Husky: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher: While it’s dark, I’m going to sleep on the couch.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark……

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there….

Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle….

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb?

German Shepherd: Alright, everyone stop where you are! Who busted the light? I SAID,”STOP WHERE YOU ARE!!!”

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

Your challenge, dear readers, is to figure out what the Scottish Terrier would say…

Dog by Matthew Van Fleet: Recommended by the Scottish Terrier News

Dog by Matthew Van Fleet
The author has a pug, which explains the place of honour on the cover

Dog, the book, is one of the two presents I give to parents of new babies. I love it almost as much as I love this video. Every time I look at both the book and the video, I get a huge kick out of them.

I know that others prefer Tails to Dog but not me. The only tiny quibble I have with Dog is that there’s no Scottish Terrier.

P.S. They’re talking about The Incredible Journey on the radio now so I’m also including links to the book and various DVD versions since it’s on topic. As a kid, I loved this version, which doesn’t appear to be available any more.

Happy Robbie Burns day, Scottish Terrier lovers

Here’s the bard with a loyal dog:

Massachusetts - 1996  (126-09)
Massachusetts – 1996 (126-09) by MacClure, on Flickr

And here’s an excerpt in standard English from his tale of two dogs, the Twa Dogs. The full versions in both English and Scottish can be found here.

It was in that place of Scotland’s isle,
That bears the name of old King Coil,
Upon a Lovely day in June,
When wearing through the afternoon,
Two dogs, that were not busy at home,
Chance-met once upon a time.

The first I’ll name, they called him Caesar,
Was kept for ‘his Honor’s’ pleasure:
His hair, his size, his mouth, his ears,
Showed he was none of Scotland’s dogs;
But bred some place far abroad,
Where sailors go to fish for cod.

His locked, lettered, lovely brass collar
Showed him the gentleman and scholar;
But although he was of high degree,
The fiend of pride, no pride had he;
But would have spent an hour caressing,
Even with a tinker-gypsy’s mongrel;
At church or market, mill or smithy,
No matted cur, though ever so ragged,
But he would have stood, as glad to see him,
And pissed on stones and hillocks with him.

The other was a ploughman’s collie,
A rhyming, ranting, raving rollicking young friend,
Who for his friend and comrade had him,
And in his youth had Luath named him,
After some dog in Highland song,
Was made long past – Lord knows how long.
He was a wise and faithful cur,
As ever leaped a ditch or stone fence.
His honest, pleasant, white streaked face
Always got him friends in every place;
His breast was white, his shaggy back
Well clad will coat of glossy black;
His joyous tail, with upward curl,
Hung over his buttocks with a swirl.

No doubt but they were glad of each other,
And very confidential and thick together,
With social nose sometimes sniffed and pried;
Sometimes mice and moles the dug;
Sometimes raced away in long excursion,
And worried each other in diversion;
Till tired at last with many a farce,
They sat them down upon their arse (buttocks),
And there began a long digression
About the ‘lords of the creation’.

Tips for flying with a Scottish Terrier

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Reader Wendy recently left a helpful comment for all you holiday travellers:

Hello! My Scottie has travelled all over with me and we’ve crossed the U.S. several times. Generally we fly – he’s 25lbs and TALL for a scotty, but he fits in a sherpa bag and sleeps like a baby. I only put him in the bag JUST before we went to bed to break him into it, and once he got used to it he never seemed to mind and curls right up to sleep.

DO take your Scottie around town and on drives with it both zipped, and partially zipped to help him/her learn not to try to escape, to relax, and to mind you. I carted Haggis through department stores and walking down busy streets in the bag so he got used to it. It ultimately allows you to unzip the top a bit and let them pop a head out while in the terminal. I’ve found security will leave me alone as long as he’s on my shoulder in the bag, lap, or riding on top of my four wheeled suitcase. DO try to get one that has a side that can be zipped or velcroed shut. Often planes have vents at the floor level and it’s cold, as well as stressful.

DO research the plane before you book the flight to make sure it does not have a smaller underseat storage area if you are flying coach (airlines will always tell you the plane model). Middle seats, sadly, are often your safest bet for ensuring there’s good space under the seat and not some silly box/retrofitted electronics. Aisle and window are OFTEN much smaller.

If I have a layover, I book through an airport like Dallas, as opposed to Denver, where you have to take a LONG train ride to get to the outside for a potty break. Also, if all else fails a benadryl (check with your vet first) will make them sleepy and relaxed. Usually the altitude/cabin pressurization will do that as well, it’s the equivalent of 8000 feet in most planes and high altitudes tend to make people (and dogs) sleepy. Haggis is a traveling champ, and usually gets a ton of attention while traveling. He’s such a ham, he now loves to fly and gets excited when we break out the sherpa bag!

And of course, when it comes to travelling, there’s no one like the Scottie Tales Scottish Terriers, Boone and Kenzie.

Check out Sherpa bags on Amazon.com

We interrupt the Scottie News…

… to bring you some winter-loving labs.

According to the cinematographer, “River and Trout are two very goofy and fun loving Labrador Retriever brothers and alpine enthusiasts. They like to spend winter weekends at Sugarbush In Warren Vermont playing in the woods and body snurfing or body sledding/belly whopping in the snow.”

Meanwhile the Scotties have bagel boarding.